14 Aug 2012

Knights of Microfiction (1) Trapped



The Knights of MicroFiction is a bloghop hosted by Jess at Write, Skate Dream and Kathy at Imagine Today. It takes place on the 15th of every month (except April when everyone is busy with the A-Z challenge). It was designed as a way for bloggers to meet new friends in the blogging community and spark their creativity.


Today's prompt is:

"Your character is trapped in a space (of your choice).  All they have with them is a broken coffee mug, an unlit candle and a cell phone with a dead battery.  What happens?

Your entry cannot be longer than 400 words and we won't be taking entries after midnight on the 15th EST."



If you'd like to join in, head over to Jess or Kathy's blog and sign up with the linky to take part.

Here's my entry:


When the guard was out of earshot I pulled out the stolen phone and pressed the power button. Nothing. They must have intercepted it. Al was expecting my signal any minute. I had to get a message to him, somehow. I opened the battery compartment and ripped out the dud battery, stuffing it into my pocket with the pieces of broken mug. This would work a lot better on paper, but there was a white label inside the phone’s battery compartment that would have to do. I didn’t have a pen, but I remembered the candle under my mattress. I hastily pulled it out. It was a long shot, but I had to take a chance. I had to get out of here. Holding the candle between my fingers like a crayon, I carefully scrawled my message onto the label and replaced the lid, hoping Al would be smart enough to look. 

A few minutes later we were called down to begin the day’s torture. I saw the urgent look on Al’s face as they dragged him out of his room. Maybe he thought I’d chickened out on him. As we passed I slid the phone into his pocket. No one saw a thing. I locked eyes with him and tried to silently tell him that what to do. I willed him to understand what I meant, that he had to get his hands on some paint or a highlighter pen to read the secret message. He must have done that as a kid. He gave me a confused look as they forced him into the interrogation room, and I knew it was hopeless.

They placed us all in a circle and tried to coax information out of us, but we kept our mouths shut. I couldn’t take this anymore. I had to get out of here, right now. One of the guards came close enough for me to grab her. She struggled but I was too quick- I reached into my pocket for the broken piece of mug and pressed it against her throat. She screamed as it drew blood. 

“Let me out of here!” I yelled, “Or I’ll kill her!” 

Guards were running in from all directions, alarms were sounding. Then he was there in his white lab coat, his needle dripping poison and I knew it was all over. 


What do you think? I hope it makes sense. I'm new to writing flash fiction so I'm still trying to get the hang of it.

5 comments :

  1. A very creative use of the prompt - how young are your characters - I feel probably early teens?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow, I absolutely loved this! Great job using the three objects! It was a very fun read and kept me on the edge of my seat!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh I loved it! Thanks for joining us.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Stopping back to tell you that you won an interview on my blog!! Congratulations! Loved your piece :)

    http://writeskatedream-jmckendry.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  5. It's very interesting! Congratulations on winning! :)

    ReplyDelete

I love to hear what my readers think so please leave a comment. I reply to comments in the thread itself and not by email, but if you want notification when I reply, please tick 'notify me' underneath the comment box. Thanks!